Head of Hellsing

Some part of her knew something was wrong, dead wrong, but for the most part, her brain was just screaming "survival" over and over again. She huddled against the French windows, shivering in a dress she never even knew she had before today.

Damn, why did there have to be a crisis just on this day? Integra was only a woman, she didn't have the skills to handle all this! For the umpteenth time that day, she wondered why her father had handed to her Hellsing, and how she had managed to run it so smoothly for the past ten years. Walter's doing, no doubt.

But in the meantime, Johnny, or whatever his name was, was coming via a worldhopper.

Thank God, she prayed, tears starting to well in her eyes. Thank God.

Diagon Alley. She had to cede a smile at that. Who knew? That she would meet Gilderoy Lockhart from those Harry Potter books. Still, he didn't seem to be as bad as he had been portrayed.

She glanced around. This was London alright, but it was a different London, with different shops, houses and landmarks. If this were her London, the Hellsing manor would be visible from where she stood. But there was no red-bricked manor here.

Shaking her head a little at her foolishness, she leant against a pillar, a small cigar held between her lips.

[Bad username: Extra! Extra! Read all about it~ Hellsing head's secrets out in the open~]
1. Integra cares for the members of her dysfunctional family immensely. It hurts her that young!Walter thinks of her the way he does, while giving full respect to her dead father. In some ways, she feels like she's inadequate, so she snaps at him often.

2. She's very sneery of the gods actually, but she's smart, so she shuts up. CARPENTER RULES YOU ALL, K.

3. She looooves her cigars. If nothing else, they calm her down a lot, so she smokes them a lot. It's a tough thing for her to not get into chain smoking them- if not for the fact that it would make her seem weak and dependent, she would smoke them all. Day. Long.

4. Are you weak? Full of yourself? Generally foppish? Please sign right up for a Hellsing snark session. She's not above taking cheap but well-aimed verbal shots at anyone she doesn't take an immediate liking or tolerance to.

5. It's near impossible, but Integra has perfect marksmanship. Perfect. She can shoot a straight cross into a man's face while he's recoiling and flailing around in pain.

6. She hates the Vatican, but not simply because they're not Protestant. Integra hates them for being in the goddamned way, and for criticizing her every move.

7. Integra will never hesitate to tell you that God IS YOUR ONE TRUE SAVIOUR, and she can be pretty rude when it comes to religious debates.

8. That being said, she is surprisingly tolerant of other beliefs in DDD. Probably because there's proof that other gods exist, and she still can't find concrete, tangible proof that her God does.

9. Still, you get points in her book if you're smart and sensible, no matter your religion.

10. She prefers mens' clothes because they give her authority. Even if she has to wear women's clothing, she'd go for straight, no-nonsense tailored pieces that give her utmost British dignity.

11. Her favourite type of tea is Earl Grey.

12. It would kill her to admit it, but she isn't totally independent. She relies heavily on Alucard, Walter and Seras, both in battle and emotionally. But she'd never ever show it, because it's weak.

13. She's most likely of mixed parentage- English and Indian, since her hair is blonde, and her skin is quite dark for a Caucasian.

14. She prefers cats to dogs. Much neater and quieter. Less loyal though.

15. Integra used to hold her father, Arthur Hellsing, in the highest regards, but recent events have made her reconsider it. Her love for her father however is not diminished.

16. She doesn't have much liking for music, though she does show a partiality towards jazz.

17. Don't even talk to her about rock. She'll raise an eyebrow at you and secretly think you're an uncivilized dolt. Or maybe not so secretly.

18. For all that she's God-fearing, Integra is fairly well-versed in the occult and has a classical education- that is to say, she probably knows Latin and Greek, has a good foundation in mathematics and science. Alchemical symbols and etc are probably familiar things to her.

19. Her secret indulgence are scones. Cranberry ones.

20. Boxers. Ya rly. She's that manly.

So in the end, there is no one.

I pride myself on hunting monsters- fitting, really, that the allies left to me are such.

Integra stood at the window, slowly puffing away at her cigar. Her tail waved from side to side behind her as she observed the setting sun.

This virus wasn't so bad, she thought. The only inconvenience it brought was that she couldn't meet the other Knights presently to settle any verbal wars they so often liked to have, but it was nice to have a break once in a while.

Walter? Please cancel any appointments I have for these few days. It appears that I've gotten the virus as well.

... On second thoughts, Seras, you do it. I don't trust Walter in his current condition. I'll hand you the necessary contacts in the evening if you would care to drop by my office.

I have a mark on my neck as well. I shall have to wear high collared shirts.

... I would murder Walter if I didn't know that this was the work of the time spell. I need to keep my guns carefully for fear of an 'accidental shooting'.

Ah, do forgive me, Walter, but a report concerning the Millenium came in this morning, and the other Knights have been... insistent that I tackle the problem.

In any case, many happy returns of the day. Shall we go for dinner tonight?

Wonderful. I've been stuck in the body of some stranger I don't know.

"Bastards." She looked through the petition, frowning as she started marking out areas to counter in her reply to the other Knights.

It was true when she told the girl to interrupt her any time she wished; her work never ended.

Sighing, she sat back in her chair and took off her glasses, closing her eyes for a while.

Integra had had enough. She got up from the computer and started down the long corridor, slamming doors open as she went in hopes of finding the now insufferable fourteen-year-old butler.

When she had found him, then she would go to Alucard and shoot him repeatedly in the head.

I-...

Sister Esther. Forgive me if I've made any inappropriate overtures to you before this; I do not know what came over me.

If there are any world hoppers who wouldn't mind, I would like to request a lift over to Albion, Esther's world.

I'm almost glad the Millenium took up so much of my time- apparently, I've missed the singing card and the child-influenza.

However, it seems that I've not missed the pedophilic bear and the equally rude 'Burger King'. I've spoken to Walter, and we have come to an agreement to sponsor a gun to the first ten people who request one for the killing of these... creatures. Each gun comes with its own blessed silver bullets.

So. Christmas is coming. I imagine it will be the usual- Alucard will have his own plans for the day, the police girl will be out with the Wild Geese, Walter might be staying in the mansion. And I will go to church.

It's a pity I don't appreciate His birthday more.

Work is done at last. But since sleep eludes me, I'll post in this for amusement.

I've read through some of the posts on this LiveJournal community that the police girl found for me, and I find myself suspicious of some of the characters there. They talk about 'worlds' and some of them are atheist; they sound heathen enough to be in a cult of some sort. But I suppose I could stay and watch. After all, as long as they do not create trouble in the United Kingdom, I don't have any cause to hunt them down.

I wonder why the police girl got me this LiveJournal- is it in return for the miniscule portion of blood she took from me the other night?